Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Schematic of a depression

The fire near my left toe has been waxing and waning very  rapidly in the last hour. Pain came in repetatitve pulses, screaming attention in one moment, then spreading softly in another.

Lumbar disc prolapse, it has been said, when a nerve lets its anger known when two vertebrae keeps crunching it mildly, and then apologising, and repeating in the next. I got one, and then there was one more. 16 more days, or 384 hours, or atleast 230400 more of these. And each one knocks me out from deep sleep. Ouch.. 230399. Hm.

I have to get out of Raigarh, now. This being away, from truth, pain and meaningful connections is costing me dearly. The mask, I have to bid adieu. Sooner is better.

Why does it feel bad? It wasnt supposed to, in any way. Was it (in)security? Was it vested hope? I dont know myself, all over again.

And during this tide of doubts, my shores are lonesome, like me.

I feel so, INCOMPLETE.